I need HELP!!!

Do you ever feel like this? I do! In fact, do right now! At this moment I am age 26 years old and I weigh 218 pounds, and I am only 4'10.5. I am miserable. This is the heaviest I have been ever in my life and I am absolutely miserable. I could go on and on about all the things that contributed to my hefty weight gain, but I rather just be passed all that. No....matter what the reasons the result is all the same.

I am starting this blog now because I have made the decision to look, dress, and feel better. I realize that all the desperate things I have tried in the past have not worked or have only worked for me temporarily. Therefore, I realize the only way to be happy, healthy, and feel great about myself is to make this a part of my life which is not easy to do. I don't really like exercising all that much, or eating tasteless foods......I don't think most heavy people do.

But today is different! I had an epiphany! Every time I think about weight loss this is what I think: to loose X amount of pounds, or should I do "South Beach?" "Atkins" "Count Calories?" "Weight Watchers" "surgery?"

Every single pill, surgery, gym, cd, dvd,and friend pops in my head making me go back and forth trying to figure out the perfect thing for me. I just have one major problem....... my problem is not a quick fix. So, I'm no math professor but how do you get a quick fix answer for something that is a life long problem. I wouldn't think you couldn't solve this that easy and I'm right.....you can't.

But today! I realized my whole life I have been fighting my weight.....everyone says that... that is the key word "fighting!" That's what I have been doing wrong.......fighting it. What I should have been doing is embracing it, acknowledging it, and work on fixing it. The solution for my weight will depend on the day, mood, feeling, weather etc. Why should you be on one diet or exercise problem everyday? Your not the same person from day to day and your body needs more than just one formula...... so this is my experiment and attempt to embrace my weight now and love myself even at 218, but to create a healthy life style for myself without feeling like I'm "fighting." I am tired of fighting.....time to enjoy......=)

I will post pictures tomorrow of myself at the different stages in my life and up until now....